>Everything Is Sinking In…

>And I really hate it. For the past 36 days I have been in a state of denial, disbelief, shock and just a general sense of all things being surreal. But, in the past few days my body is starting to realize everything my brain has known for 36 days. He’s not coming back. He’s just gone. There was no warning, there were no good bye’s. It’s just us now left to pick up the pieces. It’s just us here to move on with our lives and honor his memory. The empty spot in the garage will stay empty while a spot in a cemetery is full.

I’m trying to move forward, I really am. I think my body has been somehow protected this past month and now my brain is letting everything in. I know that he would hate for me to be sad all the time. My Mom made the comment today how proud he was when I was so motivated in losing weight, working out and getting the family healthier and how upset he would be that I don’t work out anymore and eat out WAY too often. I have to change, I know that time heals all wounds, but sometimes I would rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

I am going to take everything one day at a time while I get used to my new normal, no matter how bad it sucks right now šŸ˜¦


Posted on May 20, 2010, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. >Oh, Jen, give yourself time and space…soon the good that your dad left you and the kids will be foremost and you will be able to move on. He will always be with you…

  2. >I can not even begin to know how you feel. I am very sorry for your loss. I just read your last post and was moved to tears. Your father sounds like a very special man. I love how he would go get your mom her diet coke every morning. That is true romance right there.You are very lucky to have had such a wonderful father and role model. He will always live through your heart and memories and yes one day you will be reunited.This is not something that you will ever get over and I also doubt that it could ever be easy. But you will eventually start to live again. It might not seem like it now but in time you will. Your kids deserve that at the very least.I will be praying for you and your family. Know that you are not alone in your time of sorrow. Hugs,Lisawww.fightingtobehealthy.blogspot.com

  3. >I suffered a personal setback about 2 years ago. I lost quite a bit of weight because of the anxiety. When all was said and done and the depression sank in, I gained over 30 lbs. Don't let this happen to you.No matter what happens in life – and God knows it hurts – you must continue to take care of yourself on the basic levels: eat well, drink water, exercise. It might not help but if you don't, then it just makes things that much worse.

  4. >I got here through the memorial blogroll. I am so sorry for your loss.

  5. >So sorry that awful tragic accident happened to you and your family. I hope you are taking care of yourself during this difficult time. Best of luck to you and your family.

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